Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this will be a night to untag.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
