her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
