I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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