it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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