he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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