his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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