ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
