You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
