Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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