I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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