Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
