This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
