I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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