"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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