Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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