At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
