Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
