Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
