I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
