they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
