Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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