Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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