So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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