Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
