I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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