well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love having hate sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
