I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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