I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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