we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize