i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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