I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
