Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
