We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
