If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
