also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize