I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
