..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
