Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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