Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
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Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
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Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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