love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
