Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
