It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize