hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
