Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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