Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
