The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
