We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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