Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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