i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
