Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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