its not stalking. its research.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
