im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm at about main and main street
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Drunk is not a location!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
