Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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