apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize