i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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