I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
