i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
