K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
