i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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