worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
