Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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