haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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