her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
