:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
