we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
